Driven To Drink…By Health Magazines’ Holiday Issues

by Bess on December 22, 2010 · 16 comments

[‘Tis the season…to relax on blogging! Hollaback Health will be working with a shortened posting schedule over the next two weeks while our bloggers can enjoy their holidays. In the meantime, here’s a holiday drinking game to keep you busy until the new year! Merry everything! Love, The Hollaback Girls]

Dear Health Magazines,

You may have forgotten, but we have lived through many holiday seasons. Having lived through so many Christmases past, we are well aware that if we eat ten holiday cookies every night for a month, we’ll have to take a cue from Regina George and wear nothing but sweats.

But thanks for telling us the same things year…after year…after year.

Your holiday season headlines drove me to design another drinking game.

Lucky for your tolerance, this game is just shots. The day that I read an article recommending me to wear white strips to every holiday party or get my jaw wired shut so that I can’t eat for a month, I will need a fifth of tequila by my side.

So take a shot for each of the headlines below that bug you…

“Eat, Drink & Shrink Over the Holidays!”

(Eat…one carrot…drink…one seltzer…shop to fight the overwhelming urge to eat your arm…shrink your pocketbook…)

“Sinless Holiday Indulgences…100 Calories or Less!”

(I thought the point of an indulgence was going for something you would give up a limb for, not 2 Hershey kisses.)

“Lose 5 lbs This Week…No Diet (No Kidding)!”

(Sorry but I’d rather have a hot toddy and a brownie than subsist on air for a week. I don’t care if it’s chocolate flavored — air is air.)

“Holiday Stay Slim Tricks!”

(Apparently staying slim is so unfathomable you need to deceive me?)

“Resist Temptation and Fit Into Your Dress By New Year’s!”

(Didn’t you know? Temptation is a video game villain that will taser you if you take a bite of that cookie!)

CHEERS!


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{ 14 comments }

Alicia at Poise in Parma December 22, 2010 at 4:14 pm

This is great… but where’s my Lionel Richie drinking game, Bess?!?!?
Alicia at Poise in Parma´s last post ..ten things this tuesday- chevy girls unite!

Jill E. December 22, 2010 at 4:14 pm

couldn’t agree more.

MelissaNibbles December 22, 2010 at 4:53 pm

I’ve got the vodka in the freezer you ladies bring the magazines!

Paige @ The Gravy Boat December 22, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Between magazine articles and blog posts about how I can stay healthy during the holidays, I am so ready for this season to be over. I’m interested in reading them for the first week or two, but after a while I am totally done reading that same tips rewording over and over.

(although maybe this drinking game would help…?)
Paige @ The Gravy Boat´s last post ..Only-Semi-Lame Mile Times &amp How I Used to Be Fit in High School

Coco December 22, 2010 at 6:14 pm

I couldn’t agree more. And did you know that in reality, the average woman gains HALF A POUND over the holidays? It’s ridiculous when they say you’re gonna gain 10 pounds. Also, even if you gain a few pounds, so what? Once the spring comes, the pounds will naturally melt away. Our bodies need more warmth in the cold winter months anyway :-)
Coco´s last post ..Im a Pro Girl Now

Bess December 22, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Great idea! I still need to devise a Hall and Oates drinking game too!!!!
Bess´s last post ..Foolproof Double Chocolate Coconut Cookie Bars and Confessions of A Type A Cook

Kendra December 22, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Drunk.
Kendra´s last post ..Reharnessing Badassery

Jaime December 22, 2010 at 9:34 pm

So glad I’m missing all this since I can’t be bothered reading a woman’s magazine of any kind. Really. Compare covers. It’s always the same recycled garbage, regardless of the season. The holiday issues are simply worse.

Jaime December 22, 2010 at 9:36 pm

P.S. I realize I’m totally preaching to the choir. Just needed to vent, I guess.
Sigh.
Where’s my cocktail?

Nicole December 23, 2010 at 3:38 am

Ahaha this is great! I think we all needed this. Couldn’t agree more with the whole idea that weight gain is inevitable during the Holidays. Stop trying to get that idea into our heads, stupid magazines and media.
Nicole´s last post ..Last Minute Holiday Treat

Tiffany @ Simply Shaka December 23, 2010 at 3:40 am

Couldn’t agree more. However, I am intrigued more with the idea of Lionel Richie and Hall & Oates drinking games. Any chance Huey Lewis and The News??

Alicia at Poise in Parma December 23, 2010 at 1:50 pm

YES to the Huey Lewis and the News drinking game! How I could forget them?! I’m going to plan an awesome 80’s party so we can just get sloshed. Happy holidays to us!
Alicia at Poise in Parma´s last post ..ten things this tuesday- chevy girls unite!

Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter December 27, 2010 at 1:35 am

Amen.

Though I am absolutely addicted to those magazines, my gosh! Apparently I’m going to gain 15lbs off of drinks, cookies and appetizers, have 50 last minute gifts for my mom and that random friend who gives you a gift when you weren’t expecting it, and I need the perfect sequined dress for that new years party that I’m going to.

What a holiday I’m going to have 😉

Natalia - a side of simple December 27, 2010 at 7:52 pm

This post made me seriously laugh. I get such a kick out of all the health magazine’s tips and tricks, also known as “eat one cookie” and “do squats while loading the dishwasher.”
Natalia – a side of simple´s last post ..the aftermath

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